One of the things that we have to do in order to move from where we are to where we want to be, is to face what is not working in our lives. We are in denial when we make excuses for the lack of energy, lack of income, sales on a downward trend, a deteriorating relationship or when we are not confronting an employee or colleague whose behaviour is detrimental to the team’s performance.
To face something that is not working in your life usually means you are going to have to do something uncomfortable. It means you may have to exercise more self discipline, risk not being liked, confront someone, ask for what you want, maybe say “no” to someone or demand respect in an abusive relationship. When we don’t want to do these uncomfortable things, we defend and tolerate a situation that does not work. Making progress in your life, will take courage to face these situations head-on and take action, no matter how challenging or uncomfortable it may be.
We possibly don’t even realise when we are in denial, hiding behind myths, widely accepted views and platitudes that sounds like these: ” It’s got nothing to do with me, It’s not my place to say, Don’t make waves, She’s just at that age, We just have to wait it out, I am sure he is going to pay it back” etc.
We will even make up reasons why something that is not working, is working! If we just acknowledge the bad situation sooner, it would often be less painful to resolve, be cheaper, more beneficial, the problems will be easier to solve, we would feel better about ourselves and we would have more integrity…BUT we have to get past our denial.
Charles Givens (Real Estate investment strategist) said: “Doing more of what doesn’t work, wont make it work any better”. Defending and justifying a bad situation is really just a form of denial.
Why then, if the benefits of fixing what is not working is so apparent, don’t we do the logic thing? “Often, denial is based on the notion that something even worse will happen when we stop denying and take action”, Jack Canfield explains in his book “The Success Principles“. In other words – we are afraid to face facts squarely.
Well, nothing changes until you make the first move…..
Make a list of what’s not working in your life. Think about the main areas of your life such as Business / Career, Finances, Relationships, Health and Appearance, Personal Growth. Ask yourself these questions:
- What is not working?
- How can we improve it?
- What requests can I make?
- How can I help you?
- What do I / We need to do?
- What actions steps can I take to get each of these situations to work the way I would like.
Choose an action and do it! In the end, it does not matter what we know, believe or say..All that matters is what we do!